This page ©2001
Chip Brown.

Free Thoughts

We are all free to think anything we want in America today. Doesn't mean that a single soul has to be right, just that they can go around thinking up stuff. Look at me, I've turned it into an art form.

I was reading in the Weekly World News the other day that Neil Armstrong's moon landing was faked. They tell us it was all done in a movie studio because in the 60's we didn't have the technology to land on the moon. Idiots! Anyone who's watched a 60's science fiction show knows we didn't have the technology to fake it either.

People will think anything they want, and that's okay, that's what America is all about. "Blast the facts, here's what I think!" It seems to me the news media's new motto is: Let us not allow evidence to get in the way of a good story.

I saw on the stands a scandal rag that had a huge first page picture of Tim McVeigh stretched out on a mortuary slab. It was titled "The First Pictures of McVeigh Dead...The pictures the government doesn't want you to see." I'll bet you that the Globe wishes you hadn't seen it too, considering McVeigh didn't get executed. I can't wait until next week to see how they explain this snafu away. Maybe the psychic cow from last week's paper sent them the photo.

Everyone thinks the government is hiding something. Poppy-cock I say! If they could hide anything at all, we wouldn't have heard of Monica Lewinsky. They would have hidden the inteview where president Bush wanted to honor the veterans of World War 3.

We all sit around and read articles in the checkout lines of supermarkets to see what recently released classified document from the government says there is life on Neptune. The list I'd like to see is the list of idiots that make up this nonsense. I'd like to hire four or five of them.

I'd just keep them around the office and when I come up with an idea I could ask these idiots what they think. Whatever nonsense they spew forth should make my idea look that much better. Anytime I get to feeling that I don't have both oars in the water, I can have an office meeting. Just sitting at the table with my staff of idiots should make me feel at least that I am the smartest person in the room.

But then again if I want to surround myself with idiots I can go stand in line at Walmart.

So, did Neil Armstrong land on the moon? Beats me, and I don't really care. I have yet to see any profit from whether he did or not. Nobody to date has walked up to me and said, "Chip, here's $50 because a man walked on the moon."

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